According to research: Praying for your spouse can make your marriage better
According to The Washington Times, August 16, 2009, Praying for your spouse benefits your marriage.
For those of us who are Christians, we know this truth- prayer changes individuals and it changes spouses. But in a culture of doubt, its great that science proves what was said thousands of years ago in the Holy Scriptures.
Dr. Frank Fincham, esteemed Oxford Scholar and Director of the Florida State University Family Institute, recently completed the study along with his colleagues on the power of prayer in marriage.
I had the privilege of speak with Dr. Fincham today via email. He’s not a only a great scholar, he’s a great guy.
Dr. Fincham's research showed that those who prayed for their partner showed a greater willingness to forgive their partner for a transgression, and other surveys of couples married 25 years or longer found that forgiveness was one of the top three most important characteristics of their relationship that allowed them to stay married.
It is inevitable that conflict will occur when two people come together in marriage. Initially, the couple is focused on shared goals, such as building a life together, but as time goes by, those goals may fall to the wayside as individual opportunities arise for each person, creating stress on the relationship.
Focusing on being grateful is one way to relieve that stress, and studies similar to Dr. Fincham's have shown that prayer increases gratitude. Dr.Fincham noted that being more grateful in life is associated with better mental health and better mental health is associated with better relationships.
"Our research shows that praying for your partner can bring you back to the common goals," Dr. Fincham said. "When people pray, they become one with their spouse. A subtle shift occurs. Praying regulates your emotion and it never leads to anger. 'Knee-mail' is social support available 24/7. We know that couples who have access to social support tend to negotiate their relationship affairs better than anyone else."
Incorporating prayer for your spouse into your life can be done in small steps. Start by taking a few minutes to focus on the things you like about your spouse, ask for help in relating to him or her, and be specific about what you would like to see happen in your relationship. Be willing to forgive and to realize your need for forgiveness.
I personally have seen how praying for a spouse can turn marriages around, not only in my own marriage but in the marriages of couples I have worked with through the years. There is power in prayer not only to change your spuse, but when you pray for them it also changes your spirit and heart. Prayer can transform marriagein ways that nothing else can. Give it a try.
(Adapted from an article written by Julie Baumgardner. Julie is the Executive Director of First Things First, an organization dedicated to strengthening marriages and families through
education, collaboration and mobilization. julieb@firstthings.org.)
For those of us who are Christians, we know this truth- prayer changes individuals and it changes spouses. But in a culture of doubt, its great that science proves what was said thousands of years ago in the Holy Scriptures.
Dr. Frank Fincham, esteemed Oxford Scholar and Director of the Florida State University Family Institute, recently completed the study along with his colleagues on the power of prayer in marriage.
I had the privilege of speak with Dr. Fincham today via email. He’s not a only a great scholar, he’s a great guy.
Dr. Fincham's research showed that those who prayed for their partner showed a greater willingness to forgive their partner for a transgression, and other surveys of couples married 25 years or longer found that forgiveness was one of the top three most important characteristics of their relationship that allowed them to stay married.
It is inevitable that conflict will occur when two people come together in marriage. Initially, the couple is focused on shared goals, such as building a life together, but as time goes by, those goals may fall to the wayside as individual opportunities arise for each person, creating stress on the relationship.
Focusing on being grateful is one way to relieve that stress, and studies similar to Dr. Fincham's have shown that prayer increases gratitude. Dr.Fincham noted that being more grateful in life is associated with better mental health and better mental health is associated with better relationships.
"Our research shows that praying for your partner can bring you back to the common goals," Dr. Fincham said. "When people pray, they become one with their spouse. A subtle shift occurs. Praying regulates your emotion and it never leads to anger. 'Knee-mail' is social support available 24/7. We know that couples who have access to social support tend to negotiate their relationship affairs better than anyone else."
Incorporating prayer for your spouse into your life can be done in small steps. Start by taking a few minutes to focus on the things you like about your spouse, ask for help in relating to him or her, and be specific about what you would like to see happen in your relationship. Be willing to forgive and to realize your need for forgiveness.
I personally have seen how praying for a spouse can turn marriages around, not only in my own marriage but in the marriages of couples I have worked with through the years. There is power in prayer not only to change your spuse, but when you pray for them it also changes your spirit and heart. Prayer can transform marriagein ways that nothing else can. Give it a try.
(Adapted from an article written by Julie Baumgardner. Julie is the Executive Director of First Things First, an organization dedicated to strengthening marriages and families through
education, collaboration and mobilization. julieb@firstthings.org.)
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Comment by Mitch Temple on August 22, 2009 at 12:08am -
Check out my good friend's Bill and Pam Farrell's website. You will find some incredible articles, insights and help for your family. They are the real deal. Check it out.
http://farrelcommunications.com
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Comment by Pam Farrel on August 18, 2009 at 9:16pm -
Amen! Bill and I have seen this to be true as well. In our book, 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make we interviewed couples who had been happily married 20+ years and those that prayed--stayed! Tweeted your blog. If couples would just pray daily TOGETHER we could lower the divorce rate dramatically.
Thanks for your great blog entires Mitch! I plan to link to your blog in my Seasoned Sisters ezine this week too. MKarraiges in life's second half could use this info too.
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